Short Circuit

Who killed Aarushi Talwar?

2008-07-13T20:13:00.016+05:30

The tragic Arushi murder was most happening event to hit our sleepy colony for years.

All the major India news networks covered this tragic event. Therefore, we had EEZEE TV,/VD TV, RATS News, Till Today (Hindi channel), and NBI dead.moc were all there, blocking our roads and occupying our parking spaces. Their media vans were everywhere, with their satellite dishes fouling the branches and their Indica's strutting around with "PRESS" importantly stuck on their backsides.

There was Breaking News, 'Father kills daughter', 'Father and mother kill daughter', 'Mother kills daughter' and 'Someone kills Aarushi' and एक्सक्लूसिव ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ , ' आरुशी को किसने मारा', 'आरुशी का हत्यारा कौन' एंड 'पापा ने आरुशी को मारा', all with the background score of some old Hindi movie। This event spawned programs titled ' सनसनी , turned TV reporters into detectives and TV anchors into idiots.

Our neighbors were on TV, with even a 'Social Worker' from the colony directing a vituperative blast on Dr. Rajesh Talwar 'live from Bangalore'. He had probably extracted the wrong tooth!

This event gave a new lease of life to retired police officials and out-of-work psychologists; as they propounded their own half-baked theories to a receptive audience. Each day the theories got more outlandish, exceeding only by the contradictory statements of the police. As Dharmender said in Sholay 'Isme action hain, drama hain, tragedy hain'

It also gave the proverbial minute of fame to a few Senior UP police officials, as they dissected the character of the deceased girl and her family. Thankfully, Mayawati had them transferred and they are now directing bullock carts in some remote village. And we can't really blame the police for bungling up… by and large poorly trained, even more poorly paid, where is the motivation?

However, what do we do about the reputed,upright TV channels…with their educated, smart but mindless anchors and asinine reporters? Should they be allowed to get away scot-free after such character assassination? One news channel first got an SMS poll 'who killed Aarushi'. I understand that they make a lot of money on such polls. Then after the father was released, they got out another poll 'Was the media fair to the Talwars'? Even someone as stupid as them can answer this!

Another picture that flashes through my mind is of reporters of news channels weeping outside the Talwars residence. For a moment, I thought they were sharing the Talwars grief. No, not to be, the reason -- Nupur Talwar gave an exclusive interview to only one news channels, effectively robbing them out of breaking news!

So, who killed Aarushi Talwar?

As of a few days the IBC, India's Premier Investigative agency (God help us!) has conceded that Dr. Rajesh Talwar has not killed his daughter. As far as I am concerned their chief contribution has been cleaning the drains in the colony in an effort to locate the murder weapon...this was something the NOIDA authority had not done for years!

We may never know who killed Aarushi…but one thing is sure... the media has surely killed her spirit and her reputation, as well as that of her family and friends.

PS In my own small way, I tried to help Aarushi's cause trying to run over a cameraman as he strolled across the road, mike in hand. However, he deftly got out of the way. Guess he is used to this!

The Indian Middle Class

2008-03-08T08:32:00.004+05:30

The Indian middle class is the most pampered section of Indian society. Numbering 250 million and growing, it is like raging fire, consuming all in its path.

I remember a program, featured recently on popular news channel, XYZ TV. The subject was the hardships faced by typical middle class families in India. I wonder whether you saw it. It was between the Breaking News “Dog killed while crossing road at Bulandshahar” and Breaking News “Thief steals waste paper basket in NOIDA”. The timing was just before the Finance Ministers budget speech of 2008.Well, in case you missed it, here it is.

“Middle class” families were being asked for the one request they would like to make to the finance minister, a request that would make their lives easier.

The camera pans into one such middle class Indian household. It shows a beautiful, independent two-storey house with a well-manicured lawn. A gardener appears busy, weeding the flowerbeds. Two gleaming cars, an SUV and a Sedan, greet you in the drive way.

Inside there is a cozy domestic scene, two school going children tapping furiously on their IBM ThinkPad’s, ignoring the Nintendo DS Lite lying on the side table. The grandmother is knitting quietly on the IKEA sofa, while watching the latest soaps on the family’s Sony 40” Flat Panel LCD TV. The Microsoft Xbox 360 can be seen on the lower half of the TV cabinet, just next to the Bose 6.1 Home Theatre System.

The mother emerges from her large modular kitchen, having instructed her two maidservants, and settles down in the sitting room. The family pug jumps up from the plush carpet and snuggles comfortably on her lap.

Meanwhile, the father is seen to be struggling, filling his income tax return forms with his Mont Blanc pen (It was earlier called the “SARAL” form, what a misnomer!).

Papers are strewn all over his large computer table, as he struggles to find all his supporting documents. First, he looks behind the HP Color printer, nope not there, and then behind the HP scanner, no not there either, then struggles to check behind his Samsung 19” flat screen monitor, yes, got it! Finally, he is ready and faces the camera.

His request to the finance minister, and I quote…

Dear Chidambram Sahib, We are middle class people. We are spending INR 5000/-(€ 90) per month on each child’s education. (This comes to a modest INR 120000/- € 2200 per year for two children). My request to you is to allow this entire amount as a deduction from salary, while computing tax. I hope you will entertain our request.

Mr. Chidambaram did not heed his request. If only he had removed his Gucci sunglasses and been more discreet with his Rolex before facing the camera…

Nursery School Admissions

2008-03-07T20:00:00.004+05:30

This piece is for all parents who have small children and are striving for admissions to "reputed" schools. The admission procedure for one such school is as follows

a) First a "short list" is prepared based on an "interaction" (supreme court ruling prohibits interviews)
b) Final interview of parents and child determine whether the child gets admission.

We did the "Interaction" recently, and this is what it was.

Parents and their wards were taken into separate classrooms. The children had it easy, they were asked about colors, numbers and other not too difficult questions. Meanwhile, we, as parents were required to fill a four page form with essay / multiple option questions.

Insiders tell me that this form largely determines if your child makes the grade. This is a sampling of the form.

SECTION I

Q1 Do you think your child is ready for school. State three reasons why?

Correct Answer
I think my child is ready for school, because
a) My child in inquisitive and wants to learn
b) His mental faculties have developed to a point and require more than what we can give at home.
c) He has become independent and likes interacting with children his age

Incorrect Answer
a) He is terribly naughty, wants constant attention, is always breaking things etc., we want
someone else to handle him.
b) Every child goes to school at age 4

Q2 Is it "Nature" or "nurture" that determines the child's future. Comment.

Correct Answer
Nurturing refers to bringing up the child with a solid culture & value system. Nurturing shapes the child’s personality and predicts his future.

Incorrect Answer
Everyone knows that nature determines a child future. Our child was born naughty and thick-skinned and generally a pain. No amount of "nurturing" will change that and no one (including your school) can change him.

Q3 Is your child creative. How will you enhance your child's creativity?

Correct Answer
Yes, all children are naturally creative. We will enhance our child’s creativity
a) By providing the right environment, where they are encouraged to express themselves
b) By exposing them to right stimuli like toys (clay, puzzles) etc., computers, nature walks etc.
c) By encouraging all their efforts

Incorrect Answer
I will smack my child every time he shows his creativity
a) By writing, drawing,painting on the walls
b) Makes hole in the sofa with a pencil, (he imagines he is driving a car and the pencil is the gear!)

Q4 You cannot protect your child for life. How would you prepare him for life?

Correct Answer
By providing a strong culture and value system thereby producing a confident well rounded personality.
By arming them with a good education Make them physically and mentally strong to face the challenges of life

Incorrect Answer
We will save enough money so that we can put him through a good college!

SECTION II
We know that children are imaginative. Are parents also imaginative? Please write 4 lines, to check your imagination
(Kajala, my wife, did this section, I have very little imagination, hence only summary available)

Q 1 You have heard of the story of the 3 pigs and the wolf…use your imagination on how the story could end differently
Answer
The pigs and the wolf would become friends, and the wolf would build a strong house for the pigs. In the evening, they would all eat soup together from a common cauldron.

Q2 Invent a holiday of your choice. What would be the different activities / rituals associated with it?
Answer
The holiday would be called "Good Citizens Day", (this is really good, Kajala has outdone herself...). We would begin by invoking all the Gods, clean the neighbourhood, weed the park and while weeding the park also help out elders, and distribute sweets and play with street children. (Quite a working holiday!)

Q3 5 years down the line there would be a new craze sweeping the world. What would it be?
Answer
"Environment" we would clean the neighbourhood again and generally be green. Note: We last cleaned the neighbourhood 5 years ago so it requires cleaning.

Our son got through the first round and eventually the final admission, so we know our answers were suitable…